
People generally think of parenting styles as falling into one (or more) of four categories: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, or uninvolved.
§ Authoritarian uses disciplinarian methods with a no questions-asked ethos.
§ Authoritative is the approach that uses a blend of setting limits with warmth and connection.
§ Permissive parenting is usually warm and loving with little to no expectations and/or limits for one’s children.
§ Uninvolved parenting is a laissez-faire approach with little regard for what one’s child is doing or interested in.
There is a lot of data that supports that the approach with the hands down best outcomes for your children is authoritative.[1]
If you are striving for authoritative parenting, you are working to build good connections with your kids. This approach also dovetails with the newer notion of relationship parenting.
Relationship parenting requires effort and attention on your part. It’s the style where you are working to create a solid and secure attachment with your child, where they feel safe, seen and soothed.[2]
Telltale Signs that Your Parenting Efforts are Slipping
You are yelling
You get into power struggles or shouting matches with your kids
You are using threats or punishments to coerce or force them to do things
You criticize or over-correct them
So how do we actually create good authoritative and relationship-based parenting practices with our kids, especially when they are acting out and uncooperating?
Coping with Behavioral Challenges
Positive parenting approaches are a key way to achieve authoritative and relationship based parenting practices with your kids. They involve a range of practices you can use to strengthen your relationship with your child while also cultivating more of the cooperation you expect; in short, they can help parents cope better with challenging childhood behaviors.
“Positive Discipline” is a specific positive parenting approach created by Jane Nelson and Lynne Lott based on Adlerian Psychology principals. Positive Discipline provides evidence-based parenting tools and understandings to help parents flip the script with their kids.[3] MAPWisdom utilizes Positive Discipline tools and teachings.
Positive Discipline Practices That Can Flip the Script
Getting curious about your child’s behavior
Words of encouragement
Taking parent time-outs
We can work to flip the script with our children at any stage in their development, even if we have made mistakes in the past, even big ones. We can also avoid making mistakes if we start utilizing positive parenting approaches early. Bonus: positive parenting skills also can support your marriage throughout the journey of raising kids together!
Explore More...
Upcoming Drop-In Parenting Chat Group – Learn More
Upcoming Drop-In Couples Chat Group - Learn More
Positive Discipline Parent Intro Workshop (1 hour) - Learn More
Intro to "Keeping the Joy In Relationship" Couples Workshop - Learn More
Further Learning...
[1] NIH National Library of Medicine research article on “Types of Parenting Styles and Effects on Children.”
[3] NIH National Library of Medicine research article on “Effectiveness of Positive Discipline Parenting Program on Parenting Style, and Child Adaptive Behavior.”